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Bali best bits: Eggs, monkeys and waterfalls.

All I knew about Bali before I went was that my friend Hannah looked great in a bikini there and if you drink the water you’ll lose control of your bodily functions and boff everywhere. The first is true, the second not so much.

Here’s my best bits of mental Seminyak and the ever so dreamy Ubud.

1. Walking down the main street in Ubud, you’ll see a tiny little wooden sign saying “Sari Organik”, turn right and walk up a gravel hill and you’ll see two men sitting on a wall.
Buy a coconut off them for 1,000 rupiah. (50p) He’ll chop off the top and you can drink the sweet water inside during the 20 minute walk through the rice paddies.
 On the dusty path you’ll pass shacks full of paintings, trinkets, hats and jewellery, before seeing a raised wooden cafe surrounded by lush banana leaves.
This place serves delicious vegetarian all organic food from soups and sandwiches to salads and the classic nasi goreng.  It’s pretty inexpensive and main dishes work out at about 4 quidsies. There’s no wifi here to make sure you take in the beautiful scenery and enjoy your food.
One thing to remember is that as its open there’s no air con and Bali is often 90% humidity so either walk down early in the morning or in the afternoon to avoid sweating so much you refill your coconut.

2. When me and my boyfriend booked tickets to Bali he casually threw into conversation that I could meet and hold an orangutan there. I immediately sunk into my chair, with my hand over my mouth and cried like a four year old.
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When I was ten years old (OKAY EIGHTEEN) i’d sit and sob at nature TV shows because I wanted to meet a monkey. And this was really happening.
If you’ve seen Kristin Bell’s Sloth Meltdown that should give you a good gage of where i’m at with baby orangutans.
Fast forward to Bali, and after travelling from Seminyak to Ubud we found out the only place I could meet one was Bali Marine and Safari Park… and we were too far away to get to it. After the devastation subsided, I settled for Ubud Monkey Forest.
These Monkeys are smaller and feistier and you can’t spoon them. But you can feed them bananas and that’s enough for me.
It’s 40,000 rupiah to get in which works out as around twenty pounds, and bananas are a fiver for a bunch. An hour will give you enough time to walk around this ancient forest full of old relics where the monkeys just aren’t scared of humans. The babies may even come and sit on you, but look out for the big ones who will jump on you when they see you’ve got bananas. Shitifying.

11227590_593800764096470_4158929801217689959_o.jpg3. In Legian, not far from Seminyak there’s a chilled out joint called Fat bowl. This place serves the. best. pasta. dish. I’ve. ever. eaten. The type of pasta that you basically make out with while you eat it. That you think about for days after. That after you get back from Bali, you spend 3 hours on the computer, drunk, trying to find the recipe for. I also don’t have a picture of it because I ate it too fast.

This was a silky, lemon grassy, coconutty, creamy sauce with a hint of chilli and soft prawns that fall apart in your mouth, wrapped up in al dente fettuccine that tastes like slivers of silky ribbon bursting with creamy delicate flavours that are so unusual you wish they’d never end ohmygod. Everyone on Trip Advisor is losing their shit saying it’s “one of the best meals i’ve ever had”, “to die for” and “amazing”. Seriously, I’m in Perth, but pass me a gin and a snorkel i’d swim to Indonesia for another bowl of this.

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Screen Shot 2016-01-29 at 11.06.24 am.png4. On our drive back to Seminyak from Bali we stopped off at Tegenungan Village to take a dip in the famous waterfall. This place was beautiful. A couple of hundred steps will lead you down into an opening where the noise of the water is astounding, you can swim in the rocky lagoon or sit on the rocks in the cave behind the waterfall. The force of the water is so strong you can’t even get underneath the waterfall… which is probably a good thing because it’d probably turn you inside out. You can also climb up to the top of the waterfall where theres a natural pool and chill out there.

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